Random Birthday Week Thoughts

Time to share a few personal thoughts and reflections.

(When I started writing online, it was a blog called ScLoHo’s Really? . It was a personal blog that a few years later combined with a business oriented blog and created this website.)

It’s Sunday morning December 8th, 2024 and on the 11th I turn 65 years old.

Most days I don’t feel like I’m that old, but I’m not sure what I expected to feel like at this age.

Health wise, I’m doing fine.  Nothing seriously wrong that I’m aware of that has crept up on me as I age.

A few years ago, a friend of mine, Larry Merino, who served as one of the pastors at our church gave me some advice about getting older.

Larry is 6 years older than me.

I was leading an outreach group of volunteers from our church to participate in the Great American Clean-up in the Frances Slocum Neighborhood in Ft. Wayne.  I’d been participating in this event for a few years and this particular year I was suffering from allergies.  We had around 30+ volunteers this day and we gathered at Klug Park.  I grew up across the street from Klug Park and now Larry lived across the street from the same park.

After giving everyone instructions including addresses that could use our help, Larry prayed for the volunteers and then called me to join him on his porch while the rest went to work.  Larry told me to look and see all the younger people who were there and they could do the physical labor.  As we get older, our roles in life change to that of mentoring, teaching and leading.  I mostly took his advice that day, and enjoyed his fellowship, friendship and the couple cups of coffee.  I also did stay involved as I drove around to the various addresses to make sure everyone had what they needed and assisted in that manner.

That was over ten years ago, I was just 54 at the time, but there have been a couple of times that I’ve realized my age compared to others.

Back in 2001, I was working as a thermoformer operator for a local plastics company and started noticing that the new people they were hiring were closer to my kids age than my age.  The job was fast-paced and demanding and each day I had a crew of 2 to 6 material handlers that were responsible for correctly inspecting and packing what we produced.  When it was break time, we didn’t shut the production line down, I simply would take over, usually doing the work of two or three for 20 minutes.  I used my ability to to the work of two or three as a reason for not slowing the line down when they complained it was too fast.  If I can keep up, you can too were the words they heard from me often.

Later in life, as I reflected on some of the differences between myself and others, I noticed a certain drive and ambition that others pointed out was part of my make-up.  Others have it too, but there are plenty of people who don’t.

Another time I noticed my age was one of the first times I was invited to speak to a university class and I realized that the examples I was using in my presentation were people that the college students never heard of because they were 25 years younger than me.  Oops.  I’ve learned that lesson.  I still speak to college and university classes about once or twice a year, but refrain from being the really old guy!

What are some things I would tell my younger self if I could go back in time?

Some of the same things I tell people now.

Encourage people.

Appreciate people.

Tell them that you notice their effort.

You don’t have it have life figured out yet.  Some of the best people on this planet are the ones that continue to be curious and explore.

Don’t waste your time, but also slow down and enjoy life and the things and people around you.

Instead of living in fear, chart your course and be willing to take some calculated chances.

Listen more, talk less.

Not everything will last, Some only last for a season and that’s okay.

Seek advice from both the old and the young.

You can start over.

Here’s how I know this.

At age 22 I met a woman that was just 21 and in less than 6 months we were married.  That marriage produced 3 great kids.  While that marriage ended after 13 years, we decided to keep the friendship going as both of us remarried and our family circle grew.  Admittedly, being friends at first wasn’t easy, but for the love of our kids, we learned.

At age 42, I married again and we’ve grown from being parents and step-parents to having grandkids too in the mix.

I’ve changed jobs and careers a few times.  Currently I just completed my 11th year at Federated Media doing what I started doing in 2013 as an advertising sales and marketing consultant.  However I also spent nearly 4 years in management overseeing the sales team at WOWO and a couple of our other radio stations.  Last year I returned to doing the sales instead of managing the sales team again and it’s good to be back in this role.

It’s fun to see how my kids and step-kids lives have evolved too.  The youngest is married and Mom to four boys, the oldest lives near us and his two sons are exemplary. Those are my step-kids and they are both married to exceptional people.

In-between are my three kids who are also driven but balanced. Work, Family, Personal, it all comes together if you allow it.  Actually you have to do more than allow it, you have to seek it and pursue it.

I’m extremely proud of Tiffany, Josh and Rachael.  Two of three have reached 40 and I’m blessed to have good and growing relationships with them, their partners and kids.

My wife and I have been together for nearly 25 years now and have created a life that is supportive and in-sync despite having some very different interests, we also have a lot in common. BTW, it helps to have different interests, otherwise you might be boring to your partner.

One last thought ran through my mind before I hit the publish button.

15 years ago, my wife threw a surprise birthday party for my 50th.  It was at our home and in attendance were friends and family including my son Josh who had just turned 25 the month before.  I had a moment of reflection that evening too.

I mentioned how here I was 50, Josh was half my age and I was amazed at how the past 25 years had been since he was born, not just my life but everyone’s life. I also mentioned how I was enthusiastically anticipating  how the next 25 years would turn out.  We’re not there yet, and perhaps I’ve got another 25 years on this planet.

We shall see…